Chapter 1. I Didn't See This Coming (1)
What's the most unfair moment in life?
When you're misunderstood?
When you're falsely accused?
When you work your ass off but don't get what you deserve?
Well, everyone goes through that at some point, but—
"This disease will probably be named after you."
At least hearing that bullshit—
"You've got about six months left."
—would be pretty damn unfair when you're not even thirty yet.
'Hah, what do people do when they win the lottery?'
Age twenty-nine.
Lived honestly without parents or inheritance, only to suddenly get a death sentence.
And of all days, it had to be the day I won the fucking jackpot! The day I was supposed to celebrate my reward for living like an ant!
So before dying, I said:
'Ah, I really don't want to die. Someone—anyone—please don't let me die.'
I definitely said that.
But who knew I'd actually not die?
Who the hell knew I'd become the strongest immortal fucking skeleton?!
"O King."
"Our Undying Monarch who brought us to this place today!"
Amidst the surrounding praises, one white skeleton sighed quietly.
[Yeah. This bullshit is finally over.]
"Huh?"
[Now I can finally wag my tongue, eat, and take a damn shit.]
"...Huh?"
[Finally can grow some hair on this skull too.]
"...Huh, huh?"
Isaac.
The world called him the worst 'Skeleton King'—nothing but bones from head to toe.
So infamous that even if people couldn't remember country names, everyone knew his.
Countless heroes knelt before him, vomiting blood. Wherever he led his demonic forces, paths of death and corpses resembling him opened.
In other words, literally a Corpse Demon King!
Owner of walking corpses!
The 'One Who Defies Gods' whom even the Holy Empire's Pope dared not order slain!
But even such a Demon King had one big problem:
'Fuck, I can't even take a shit in this body.'
Unfair enough to die without spending a penny of my lottery winnings due to a rare disease.
The moment his breath stopped—
his eyes opened as a white skeleton in another world where he couldn't eat, sleep, or feel pain.
And it was fucking unfair becoming a skeleton before even holding a girl's hand! So he stubbornly preserved his life and mind.
Evolved from a lowly summoned monster controlled by others to an undead king with enough power.
Even feeding and reviving demonic thugs on the verge of death was fine.
"Master."
"Our great king."
A ferocious Demon King even gods feared.
"Our king whose very name oozes cunning and deceit! !"
[Dammit, how many times do I have to say it's Isaac?! You little shits!]
Kim Isaac, a Korean, smacked his chest in frustration but gave up after centuries of them never getting his name right.
[Today marks the end of this fucking contract.]
"Huh?"
The Skeleton King clattered his bones gleefully with nonexistent eyes flashing dramatically.
[Finally starting today I can eat, sleep, and shit.]
Kim Isaac wanted to be human.
No scratch that—he'd take lion shit or dinosaur eggs over being bones. But no method could free him from his undead corpse.
Didn't matter anyway.
-Demon King, let's make an employment contract.
The gods proposed this to Kim Isaac atop demonkind:
-Solve our requests and we'll make you human.
After 10 years under contract:
BOOM!
-!
A giant's head fell into the divine realm. Gods paled realizing it belonged to their ancient enemy who terrorized heavens.
-Madness.
They gaped at the skeleton delivering the head:
-That lunatic actually did it.
The skull-toting Skeleton King flashed hollow eyes:
[There. All rebel forces opposing gods eliminated.]
-...!
Gods murmured:
-What kind of maniac...!
-Ten years! Mere decade...!
They'd needed millennia for those calamities!
Skeleton King's eyes flashed:
[Enough lip service. Pay up. Twelve requests completed means human body, right?]
The contract god rushed over:
-Apologies for the wait! Never expected you'd finish so...
[What?]
-Making someone like you human isn't easy. Do one more favor and payment's yours—
BANG!
[Fuck! There's limits to how much you can fuck with a skeleton. Trying to scam me?]
-!
The King radiated menace, having overheard:
-Actually, no method exists to make the Skeleton King human, right?
-What? Then why the contract?
-Why? Otherworld summon can't perish. Undead have no lifespan. His power threatens both realms. Better exploit him—genius, right?
-Damn based.
Just then—
CRACK!
-Gah! S-King?!
Recalling this, the Skeleton King stalked toward the gods, disgusted:
[What? Cleanse karma by helping gods defeat twelve calamities, huh?]
Whispering gods looked annoyed:
-Uh oh, he noticed.
-Told you not to invite that madman here.
-Who knew he'd clear 500-year missions in a decade...
Before they could finish—
[That all you got?!]
BANG!
Enraged like he'd skin them alive:
[Never planned to make me human, right?]
Gods laughed at his seriousness:
-Why so obsessed with being human? Your body's perfect—no eating, sleeping, dying—
[Fuck off! You understand me?!]
He'd never forget becoming a skull overnight—'Thus Demon King is born!' face of the summoner who dragged his soul here just to create the strongest demon king. Centuries of people fleeing at sight, priests and knights attacking him as a weak monster. But most importantly—
[I HATE skeletons, corpses, gore, horror shit! Know how insane seeing a mirror daily makes me?!]
-...?!
Thus the Skeleton King glared at the divine palace, extra disgusted after spending a lifetime feeding subordinates without saving himself:
[Ten years of shoe-shining, ass-wiping, massaging, exterminating—all unpaid. Now pay up with mental damages and compensation.]
Gods blocked his path indignantly:
-We should sue YOU!
[Excuse me, bitch?!]
-How many divine treasures did you consume here?!
The Skeleton King scoffed:
[Treasures? Head hair still gone. Just scalp moisturizer and red energy drinks.]
-Moistur— ENERGY DRINKS?! One drop contains millennia of— wait, RED? Did you say red?
[Yeah. Dragon-pattern sealed box.]
Gods doubted their ears—he meant the deepest vault's treasure.
TREASURE?!
-You drank THAT?! Sneaking into forbidden zones?!
[Relax. Used leftovers as foot wash. Smelled nice.]
[...?!]
[You said drink all recovery potions inside.]
Gods clutched their necks—he couldn't mean treasure chests.
'Of course it had to be one of eight forbidden treasures.'
-Well, no matter. Now's our chance to eliminate all demons.
-Pity to waste a good tool though.
Hearing they'd kill his subordinates too, the Skeleton King flashed a terrifying smile:
[You? Against ME? Need at least a chief god here.]
Kicking the ground, he shook the realm. Lesser gods cowered as he summoned power.
THUD!
-Useless! Contracted indestructible existence—what now?
But then—
CRACK!
[Ugh!]
Suddenly staggered, magic gone. Couldn't move as mocking came:
-Futile! Whoever's name is written here can't move.
Startled, the Skeleton King saw what they held—'Bug?'
A preserved dead bug—artifact sealing any disaster completely. When the inscribed bug glowed, he felt his soul leaving.
[Little shits. The employment contract was bait. Soul sealing was your real goal?]
Gods revealed true colors condescendingly:
-Filthy demon king dared tread holy ground?
-Should be grateful being our hands! Daring to demand payment?
[Excuse me, BITCH??]
-Well, truth came earlier than expected. Rest easy—new body specially prepared to resemble you.
The preserved bug revealed itself—a shiny bald maggot.
Skeleton King emitted killing intent:
[Couldn't even get a fuzzy caterpillar? Still hung up on hair?!]
-Whatever. Your skeleton body and subordinates will be lifelong slaves. Don't worry—
SQUELCH!
Shocked gods saw cracks forming on the soul-binding bug. Chilling laughter came:
[Morons! Should've finished quicker!]
Before they could react—
DOOM!
Divine realm exploded. By the time gods regained senses:
-That insane...bastard self-destructed?!
But higher gods froze differently:
-Did the ritual work?
Finding the wriggling maggot in ruins:
-Ritual successful. Demon King contained.
Deep relief:
-Good. Hundreds of years' nuisance gone.
Watching the maggot dragged to torture chambers:
-That arrogant skeleton king...torture him forever.
Yeah, senses.
Regaining good.
Living centuries as skeleton, getting scammed, soul extracted, maggot-sealed, tortured—sure. But...
"Oh dear! Baby Saint-nim, are you awake?"
The Skeleton King baffled at his current situation.
Huh? Baby brat?
Not maggot larva??
Rather—Saint?
A FUCKING SAINT?
