#078. Whirlpool of Desire (4)
A stray bullet pierced through the old man’s chest and vanished into the distant horizon.
Thud.
John’s body collapsed.
His fallen form twitched and convulsed on the ground.
It wasn’t an instant death.
But the fatal wounds sealing his fate were undeniable.
Growl! Grooooowl!
Fran had disappeared, but in her absence, the enraged creatures charged at John with blood-red eyes.
Michael lunged forward.
He barely reached John before the Rockdeers, shielding him with his own body.
Thud──!
“Ugh!”
An excruciating pain exploded in his side.
A Rockdeer’s head had rammed him, the agony so intense it stole his breath.
The impact sent him sliding backward, still clutching John.
‘I need to deploy a barrier…!’
The thought flashed through his chaos-addled mind.
But it remained just that—a thought.
His circle held no remaining elements to manifest a barrier.
Rumble rumble──!
The thunderous charge of Rockdeers vibrated through the earth.
Michael instinctively tightened his grip on John.
It doesn’t matter what happens to me.
As long as the Chairman survives.
As he steeled himself—
Crash──!
The collision echoed, but no pain followed.
“I can’t comprehend this. No matter how I analyze it.”
A voice cut through the chaos.
Looking up, Michael saw a transparent white barrier enveloping them.
“This is impossible. It shouldn’t exist.”
“Ray-nim…?”
Ray stood beside him, staring fixedly at Michael’s chest with furrowed brows.
“Are you saving John out of respect? You disregard your own life for this?”
Thud! Bang──!
Rockdeers slammed against the barrier from all sides.
In the disorienting clamor, Michael answered without hesitation:
“Yes. The Chairman is the only one I respect.”
As he spoke, movement caught his eye in the distance.
Dozens of vehicles poured into the clearing—all mercenary reinforcements.
‘Impossible… They had reserves waiting?’
His suspicion proved correct. These were Skyle Mercenary Group’s remaining forces, stationed outside to block escape routes. The vehicles halted at a calculated distance from the battlefield. Mercenaries poured out, activating roof-mounted cannons—clearly planning to bombard both Rockdeers and guards to rescue their comrades.
‘Then it’s over.’
The outcome was decided.
With the battlefield in chaos and combatants from all sides incapacitated by rampaging Rockdeers, no one could withstand an artillery strike.
‘Even Ray-nim’s power has limits…’
From previous battles, Ray’s magic appeared focused on enhancement and lightning—the former ideal for close combat, the latter swift but short-ranged.
‘…They’re dozens of meters away.’
An impossible distance. No mage could strike that far.
“I understand your respect,” Ray continued, oddly indifferent to the new threat. “He saved you from the slums.”
“But I’ve witnessed moments that should have shattered that respect. By my analysis.”
While responding, Michael summoned the last traces of control elements in his circle.
Screech─! Caw─!
Hawks circling above dove toward the mercenaries.
──!
────!
The cannon operators froze as razor-sharp talons hurtled toward their faces—
Screeeech──!
Cawww──!
The hawks abruptly veered skyward and disappeared.
The bond had snapped—Michael had miscalculated their maximum control range under pressure.
“...”
Despair washed over him.
This was the end.
For him. For the man he vowed to protect.
Yet Ray pressed on:
“John attempted to rob the mercenaries. You hesitated upon learning this. Why does your respect remain?”
Though confused by her focus, Michael grasped her core question: Why still help John?
Did she not realize their imminent doom? A coordinated cannon volley would shatter even this barrier.
“He also insulted and belittled you.”
“…You’re an unusual person, Ray-nim.”
“Your emotional responses indicate awareness of his corruption.”
“True.”
“He tried to abandon you.”
“He did.”
“And your search for the Rockdeer’s memory wasn’t to express gratitude.”
“…I know.”
Ray’s typically flat voice now carried palpable frustration, likely fueled by Michael’s unwavering answers.
“Explain. How do you maintain respect for him?”
“...”
Michael’s silence lingered.
Ray reminded him of Magic Tower scholars—those who pursued knowledge for its own sake, not power or status. A rare breed.
Softly, he finally spoke:
“Didn’t you ask me yesterday about the definition of respect?”
“Yes. Have you found your answer?”
“I am not a philosopher, so I cannot confidently provide a clear answer to such questions. But I do have personal opinions.”
“What is it? What are they?”
Michael lowered his head and looked at John, who was dying in his arms.
A prolonged silence followed.
Just as Ray, unable to bear the wait, was about to urge him on,
“Someone who makes you feel they are different from others,”
Michael said.
Though the surroundings were filled with gunfire, his voice rang out distinctly.
“Someone you want to emulate.”
Even the ceaseless screams and clashes couldn’t drown out his voice.
“But someone who shines so brightly from such a high place that I could never dare to emulate them.”
A single star in the dark night sky.
Michael ran and ran, trying to get closer to that star.
He wanted to hold the same light as that star.
He wanted to reach the same place as that star.
But no matter how much he ran, he couldn’t close the distance between himself and the star.
“The CEO was someone so extraordinary that I couldn’t even compare myself to him. No matter how hard I tried, I realized I could never shine as brightly as he did.”
With that realization came resolve.
If I cannot shine, then let me help others who can shine spread more light into the world.
If I stay by their side, perhaps their light will allow me to shine alongside them.
“Earlier, you mentioned there must have been signs of the CEO’s corruption. Yes, you’re right. It’s only natural. Given how long I spent by his side, it would be a lie to say I didn’t notice anything.”
Michael’s voice grew heated.
“I knew the CEO of the past and the CEO of today were different people. It’s just that today, I can no longer deny what I had been trying so hard to ignore.”
The gunfire didn’t stop.
Nor did the screams or the cries of the Rockdeers.
“But what does it matter? While chasing that starlight, I was able to keep my life’s direction intact.”
“…….”
“Even if that starlight has faded, it doesn’t mean the path I’ve run all this time was a lie. Of course, that starlight can no longer guide me. But what does it matter? What does any of it matter?”
By the end, Michael’s voice was almost choked with emotion.
After a brief silence, as if swallowing his emotions, he spoke again with heated breath.
“I swore loyalty to the CEO. He achieved things I could never even dream of. He was someone I respected most—someone I still respect—.”
His breath hitched.
The sentence barely continued.
“—and someone I will continue to respect. That is my answer to your question, Ray.”
“…….”
Why?
Ray felt a tickling and burning sensation in a corner of his heart.
It was strange.
He couldn’t fully understand Michael’s words,
yet one sentence lingered in his mind like a brand seared by fire:
—Someone you want to emulate.
—But someone you could never dare to emulate.
One person came to mind.
And in that moment, many traces of emotions etched in his heart began to glow simultaneously.
All of them were emotions connected to that person from Sector 50.
……
The boy’s consciousness sank deep into memories of the past.
「You should always leave an escape route for your opponent. Otherwise, they might bite down hard and charge at you when cornered.」
「So you think you can survive like this? But it would be better not to consider expanding your shop toward 4th Street. Hector has been eyeing that area for a while now.」
「Take this. It’s what you earned after running around all month. This is all just part of making a living.」
Gulp.
A deep sea-like unconsciousness.
The boy slowly sank beneath it.
As fragments of memories played out on either side.
The emotions each memory emitted were so vivid they dazzled.
Yet none of them belonged to the boy.
‘Niles.’
He was someone who possessed a wide range of emotions.
His outward words and actions were dry and blunt.
But the faintly visible mana of various colors within him clearly revealed his broad emotional range.
Right.
The intensity of each emotion wasn’t strong.
But the variety of emotions he displayed was vast.
Upon realizing this long ago, the boy had clung to a sliver of hope.
「My outward words and actions aren’t much different from his.
If he and I are similar kinds of people…
Then maybe it’s possible for me too—to hold such diverse emotions within me.
I wanted to be like him.
So I wanted to have emotions.
With that thought, I observed Niles’ every move for weeks, trying to learn his mannerisms and mimic them.
But there were no results.
After all, Niles was a different kind of person from me.
His wide emotional range had another reason behind it anyway.」
「Niles! Why don’t you stop by for a drink on your way?」
「Boss, I need to discuss that issue with you for a moment.」
「Niles….」
Niles always paid attention to everything around him.
It was as if he felt responsible for everything within his own fence.
‘Everyone in Sector loved Niles.’
Perhaps it was because of his wide emotional range that he excelled at understanding and empathizing with others’ problems.
Actually, I was never certain.
Was it because of his wide emotional range that he could interact with many people?
Or was it because he interacted with many people that he developed a wide emotional range?
...Either way, it didn’t matter much.
To the boy, it was an inefficient and incomprehensible way of life.
In other words, something he could never emulate.
‘…….’
Someone I wanted to emulate but could never dare to.
That person was Niles.
Upon realizing this, a question arose.
Was what I felt back then admiration?
Did I admire Niles?
At the bottom of his memory, past emotions stirred noisily.
An emotion that had been colored in black and white began to rise toward the surface of consciousness, gradually regaining its original color.
From black and white to pale pink.
From pale pink to pink.
From pink back to…
Finally, when the emotion surged above the surface of consciousness.
Whoosh───!
The color of the emotion was a vivid purple.
The restored emotion began to scatter brilliant light throughout the boy’s heart.
Strictly speaking, it was only one facet of admiration.
But that was enough.
Whoosh───!
Around the heart.
Above the first ring.
A red mana stream orbiting there in preparation for the construction of a new ring began to spin fiercely.
A burning pain rose in his chest.
Beneath the surface of consciousness.
All the revived memories rewound in an instant.
“……!”
The boy’s consciousness, which had sunk to the depths, also surged fiercely toward reality.
